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Poetry by Nicky Troccoli-Dennis

July 22, 2018

 

Motherless

 

The cemetery is bright tonight

The stars are crimson red,

I know where I should be right now

Sleeping soundly in my bed.

But I can’t sleep tonight, dear mum

Can’t stop my mind from thinking,

‘Cause since you died I’ve been a mess

I’ve even started drinking.

There was a time when things were sweet

When I felt safe and sound,

But now your gone I just can’t sleep

My head keeps spinning round and round.

I know the grogs what killed you mum

And now it’s killing me,

I’ve gotta numb the pain somehow

I have to, can’t you see.

When your mum died you did the same

You hit it pretty hard,

The grog, the pot, the sleeping pills

They were your emotion guard.

Now it’s me, I’m all alone

It’s sad, I know, but true,

I can’t live on without you mum

  Not now, and not without you.

 

 

Eternal Heartache

 

I am so numb

Can't feel a thing,

I'm hanging on to

A piece of string.

It won't be long

Till that string does break,

I'm living with

Eternal heartache.

 

 

 

Not Yet

 

Decision to settle

To calm, to stop,

To grow some patience

Let the penny now drop.

Took a soul search it did

Nearly busted my heart,

Could I grasp the idea

Of a brand new start?

But I look in your eyes

I sit by your side,

Try to go back in my box

But there's nowhere to hide.

I pretend not to be

A lot more closer to you,

Takes some patience alright

Got my soul feeling blue.

Want to hold you but I'm

Not sure how you will take it,

So I hold my love back

Now I'm trying to fake it.

Want to kiss like we did

When we connected first time,

But the end near I see

Oh, that kiss so sublime.

So who's to stop this here thing?

Is it you, maybe me,

Can we be lone again?

Or will we never be free?

Coz while it's like this

I do dwell in regret,

Should I wait or give up?

Maybe you don't want to yet.

 

 

 

Alcoholitis

 

If I go to the toilet

Will I flush myself down?

If I go to the circus

Will I turn into a clown?

If I hold cards in one hand

Will my other hand cheat?

If confusion sets in

Will my brain overheat?

If I lay here real still

Will I lose myself totally?

If this poem don't make sense to you

Will you wonder what is freaking me?

If the world should get the picture

Will the concept be blurred?

All of these thoughts

I have already heard (over and over again).

If I ask no more questions

Will I no longer think?

Man, my thoughts are all over

Need to get me a drink.....Quick!

Cat caught the dove

 

A dove in the sky

Brings a tear to my eye,

Cat can't capture that dove

And he doesn't know why.

A flight full of grace

Brings a smile to my face,

Dove is so high above cat

So he speeds up the pace.

Dove does fly in the rain

Cat can't catch, goes insane,

Wants to fly with the dove

But no wings, just a brain.

Dove now lost in deep thought

For that dove, cat did fought,

Look up, there he is

Now the dove has been caught.

The man I do love

He does fly like that dove,

I've no wings but don't panic

He is here in my glove.

"My soul is now yours

Without any laws,

So glad I caught you," I say

As I lick wounded paws.

 

 

Born

 

The petals of my roses are merely wiltering away,

Dreams forever becoming destroyed right here in my face.

Freedom flew away without a thought for me,

My confidence now my enemy.

Love is too much of a burden,

Happiness merely a verb.

Psychotic thoughts come as freely as taking a breath “Aaahhh!!!”

I thought it was all around me,

Surprise, Surprise, I found it.

Way down inside of me,

Within the deepest realms of my soul.

Yep! Rage, Hatred, Mania and compulsive anxiety,

Let me out of this cold wet cage-like existence.

Disease and scars my proof,

Rejected from day one.

Some call this survival,

I say it’s a battle never won.

Agony, fright and all things nice,

That’s what I ended up made of.

 

 

Lost Freedom

 

Dull, Lifeless, Lonely and Sad,

Why do you think I’m so bloody well mad?

Why wouldn’t I be?

Do you know my life story?

Plenty of guts, but no damn glory.

So tell me, please, where did I fail?

I’ve swear I’ve been closer to going to jail.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand,

Just don’t try telling me love is grand.

Aint nothing nice about losing hope,

I’ve had about as much faith as the pope.

Done all I could to get a life,

Been a daughter, a sister and even a wife.

I’ve lied and deceived, been honest and prayed,

Good or bad, no difference, still never been paid.

If there’s something I’ve missed then show it to me,

‘Cause I don’t understand what it means to be free

 

 

Those were the days

 

Runnin’ down Flinders Lane

Grabbin’ Big M’s and Bread,

The hot bricks in the square,

Done lovely for our bed.

Sittin’ on the station’s steps,

Unpretty all the same.

Some of us were deadset,

For the rest it was just a game.

Then there were the Users,

Hagglin’ for a rought.

Even little runaways,

And girls who could be bought.

A lot of things are changin’

But one thing stay’s the same,

If you look hard enough around

If you look around the City,

You can see who’s to blame

 

 

Care Factor 0%

 

Crying till my eyes are red,

I can't believe what you just said.

"We're over now, it's not you, it's me,"

So angry now you've set me free.

Don't even care if I am sad,

Damn right I is, I'm raving mad.

I give you love, you don't want it,

Mister, don't you care a little bit.

 

Hello, Good-Bi?

 

Who is that girl?

My gosh she's sweet,

I've gotta know

We have to meet.

Look at her!

It sends your heart,

Like cupid hit me with a dart.

Who is that girl?

I have to know,

Oh no, she's gone

Where did she go?

 

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